I'm not pretending anyone is actually reading this blog, but thought it may be a good place to put some of my thoughts.  It was 25 years ago today that I was burned.  So much water under the bridge.  I've quit practicing law as of last January and now practice mental health counseling full time.  It's funny how things turn out.  The rehabilitation aspect of burn injuries are what scared me the most about them back when I was a master's student at the University of Iowa Rehabilitation Counseling program in 1990.

I became a counselor by default.  I went to a career counselor at a community college and she suggested I could get a masters as I couldn't make a living with an English degree in Iowa City, Iowa.

My Story׀A Few Seconds of Fire

On August 16, 1992, I used acetone, a highly flammable liquid that was sold to me to remove adhesive from a bedroom floor left behind after taking up a foam-backed carpet.  To my surprise and horror, flame came bursting into the room from the hallway.  I later found out that a pilot light from a water heater down the hall and in a closet had ignited the acetone fumes which had been too heavy to dissipate despite my having opened the door and windows.  I jumped through a screened window and landed in the grass of the yard, burned full thickness on my arms and legs, and partial thickness on my face.

The total skin area burned was 63% (view pictures).  I spent seven weeks in the Burn Unit at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics, then several months recuperating.  Six months after going home, tremendous ropes of scars appeared on my face.

My beard tried to grow through them, and the area became infected often.  This led to several plastic surgeries.

There is life after the burn.  After many surgeries, unimaginable pain, divorce, and lots of time I am definitely alive and happy.  There is life after the burn.

My introduction to legal issues began with my lawsuit, and continues today in my career as a lawyer.  Because of my lawsuit, the label on the acetone was changed to protect users.  Also, due to my lawsuit, I could afford to pursue my legal education.  A new wife, babies, and a career as a lawyer were waiting for me after the burn.

Mediation

Yesterday I mediated a case I'd been working on for the last couple of years. Although it was an excellent result for my client, I have ambiguous feelings. After literally years of building the case, arguing motions, taking depositions, and working closely with my clients, it just seems somehow impossible that it can come to an end without a trial. To get out of litigation mode and into closure sometimes is difficult for me. I suppose that's why after my own lawsuit, I ended up going to lawschool and working for decades with my former lawyer...

Identity?

On my dear friend Barbara's wall was written in large black letters: "You are what you repeatedly do." When I read those words the meaning seemed clear, "doing" meant something you do physically. As I continue to ponder what it means to be a burn survivor in my own personal experience I keep coming around to the phrase above, only my understanding of "doing" now focuses on the mental aspect. You are what you repeatedly think about, or more correctly, how you think about it. When thoughts spring up through fear or self-condemnation, these thoughts rarely water seeds of love and joy. Those two seeds, present in everyone, if cultivated, can perhaps shift the mental "doing" toward a place where it feels comfortable to just be. I aspire to "be" as intentionally and as lovingly as I can. Moment to beautiful moment, just be.

New Stem Cell Burn Treatment

Check out this new treatment?

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/7725702/the_stem_cell_skin_gun_offers_new_approach.html?cat=5

And then...

After about ten days I returned to the burn unit and found out the labs were clear - no sign of cancer. I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear that. I went home and continued to walk around as much as possible. Always before movement was a good thing for skingrafts, my doctor always told me to keep moving. Unfortunately, the result was the graft totally failed. I was then scheduled for another skingraft to replace this one.

Surgery

On the day of my surgery I showed up on the 5th floor of the hospital where I was received into a pre-surgery exam room. They started an IV and led me into the OR. I said hello to the doctors then by the magic of anesthesia, the surgery was over and I was in recovery. By the time an hour had passed I was getting ready to leave the hospital. Overall, a very smooth surgical experience. I still did not know whether I had a Marjolin's Ulcer, or had cancer. I didn't find out for another week.